Category Archives: January 2015

No Rain. No Rainbow.

Hard times– whether it be illness, emotional stress, death/grief, financial issues, work problems, family discord– we’ve all gone through them.

Everyone deals with difficult times in different ways. Some clam up, some express themselves, some get angry, some cry, some do all the above.

Me? I tend to clam up and go to my quiet place. I hold my worries close and hardly ever share them. This is just the way I am. I used to think I was wrong for the way I deal with hard, worrisome times. I allowed people’s opinion of how I should handle things affect my process. This is no longer the case. I’ve learned to embrace my personal journey through difficult times.

Everyone has a right to their own way of dealing with life. Sometimes, things get so hard–so difficult–that expression is buried and words are scarce. But it’s during these times when we see who cares. Who reaches out. Who notices your pain. Who puts aside their own life to care about yours. When you feel the need to clam up, yet someone asks, “Are you okay?” Man, those three little words reach deep into the soul. You may not be ready to answer or talk about your troubles, but as cliché as it sounds, it’s the thought that matters most.

I have some awesome friends and family and I want to thank them for being there for me, especially the last six months or so. Some know the struggles, and some, maybe not so much, but you’ve reached out and let me know you’re there when I need you. Thank you.

norain

I’ve learned so much about myself over the last year or so. Knowing what to let go of, and what to take in, has been so important and eye-opening.

Ego. Vanity. Roughness. Loudness. Selfishness. Shallowness. The need for approval. These are the things I try to rid myself of.

Peace. Love. Understanding. Softness. Gratefulness. Inner strength. Growth. These are the things I strive for.

We all fall. We all fail. We are imperfect beings. But what we set out to achieve and become is set forth by our deliberate intentions.

Yes, hard times are overwhelming and exhausting, but they are also character-building and a time to learn. More importantly, they are temporary. Keep your head up. Put a smile on your face. Put one foot in front of the other and try to move forward. It’s not easy, but every positive step is better than moving backwards.

Never feel bad about who you are and what you’re going through. Stay true to yourself and rise above.

Sending you all love and peace.

Until next time…

4 Comments

Filed under January 2015

Doubt Demons… Those Scoundrels

It’s inevitable, doubt demons will always invade a writer’s creative space. Sometimes, it’s easy to shoo them away, and tell them to go back where they came from. But, most of the time, they stick with us, torture us, bring us to tears, and make us want to run far, far away from our story.

“This isn’t good enough. No one’s going to like it. Look at how ‘so and so’ writes; they’re so much better than you. You’re not going deep enough. What are you thinking? People are going to be so disappointed.”

I find a lot of my doubts come from comparing myself to other writers. It’s so hard not to do, and after talking to many writers/authors, I know I’m not alone.

We need to learn from those we admire, but we shouldn’t put ourselves down because we don’t write like them. We need to take pride in the words we pen. We’ll never reach our goals and dreams if we let other people’s work stifle and scare us from being ourselves in our own writing.

But once doubt creeps in, and worms its way around, rational thinking goes right out the window. At that point, our story is the worst thing ever written and there’s no possible way to make it better.

Yep. Doubt demons suck! They’re scoundrels. They crawl in, take a seat, and make every letter, every word, every sentence, every paragraph a writing hell.

IMG_7789

How do we get rid of them? I wish I knew an exact formula, but here are a few things I try:

  • Breathe in good thoughts, breathe out bad thoughts. It may sound silly to some, but trust trust me, it works. A little quiet reflection with positive thoughts goes a long way for our mental well-being.
  • Take a walk or run. Get your blood pumping. Use the doubt as fuel to get the aggression and negative out.
  • Talk to someone who gives you positive feedback, someone who listens with open ears. It doesn’t have to be another writer, just someone who’ll give you a boost.  It’s not about being pacified, but about getting support when you need it the most.
  • Scream. Get mad. Get it out of your system. Sometimes, peaceful breathing just won’t cut the mustard, and yelling out to the universe is more productive. But once your fit is done, let it go, and do whatever you can to bring yourself back to positive.
  • Just keep writing. Never give up.

Bottom line, don’t let the doubt demons win. There are many, many, many writers/authors out there, and guess what, there are many, many, many readers out there, which means your story will have its place and find its reader. Never, ever doubt that.

Until next time…

6 Comments

Filed under January 2015

A Year of Positive Words

A new year has arrived. We often look at it as a clean slate. New goals. New adventures. New achievements. New obstacles.

I’ve given lots of thought on one thing I want to do for personal improvement. Just one, you ask? Yes. Just one. There are many I strive to work on daily, but I want to focus hard on one particular thing that’ll challenge me.

Since I have a love of words, I’ve decided to tie it to the words that come out of my mouth. Words are powerful. They can change someone’s day– positively or negatively. Kind, compassionate, loving, uplifting words can do wonders for those we interact with each day. On the other hand, we can bring someone down, make them sad, and/or hurt them with mean, unthoughtful, careless words– whether it be to their face or behind their back.

Negative words stick with us. They linger and hover over us like a black storm cloud. We can all remember times when someone has called us a name, pointed our weaknesses over and over, said something to us with malice intent– plain, hurtful words. It’s crushing.

wordsareenergy

My personal improvement goal for 2015 is to not speak to others, or about others, in negative or hurtful ways. I want a year of positivity, compassion, empathy, softness, love, and peace. One way I can create that kind of environment for myself, and those around me, is with what comes out of my mouth.

If what I say about someone can’t be positive, or at least neutral, I will refrain from saying it. If I slip, or completely fall off the positive word wagon, I’ll put a quarter for each negative thing I say in my “negative word jar” (I’ll be sure to share pictures of the jar as the year moves along). Hopefully, at the end of the year, my jar of quarters won’t be worth much.

So, let the challenge begin!

Happy New Year, everyone!

Until next time…

1 Comment

Filed under January 2015