Tag Archives: Peace

Me? Speak up? Let Me Think About It.

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Conflict and confrontation… I avoid them at all cost. I hate them with a passion. It’s who I am and I’ve been this way since I was child.

When some people would face issues head-on and speak their opinion, I normally stay quiet and put space between me and uncomfortable situations.

Just because I don’t always speak up, doesn’t mean I’m on board with something. In all honesty, some people say they’re okay with something to make other people happy or to save face so they don’t have to reveal what they truly feel.

My silence speaks more honestly than those who pacify with words.

I know I have a right to my feelings. I know I have a right to speak my feelings. The problem is, when I know my thoughts and feelings are going to be null and void, or compared to how others are feeling, and/or I’ll be the outsider no matter what I say, I’ll just hang back and feel my feelings without the need to express them. It’s better for me that way.

I also can’t stand when someone always tries to one-up other people’s feelings with their own. Their feelings are more important, have more weight, and mean more, so why express mine? That’s how I feel.

Just because I don’t always speak up, doesn’t mean I’m putting my feelings aside to pacify others. I just don’t feel I have to throw up my feelings for all to hear. I think it’s okay to stay in respective corners and move along with life.

There are people who surround themselves with only those who fill their glass with something they like to taste, who pat them on the back and make them feel good, who feed them verses that justify.

Like I was told as a child… “Birds of feather all flock together.”

Me? I tend to have all kinds of different feathers, which normally doesn’t fit in the mold of life that others like or require.

I’ll be the lone bird with colorful feathers. I’m cool with that. Actually, I wouldn’t have it any other way.

So, some would ask, “Amy, do you only speak your mind when it fits with those around you and when it doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable?”

My answer is this: No, not necessarily. I speak my mind often. However, I am choosy about who I speak my mind with. I’ve learned some people say they’re okay about me speaking my mind, but, in reality, they never make me feel that way. In these cases, silence is my go-to. And, guess what? That’s my prerogative.

Do I wish I could be straight forward? Do I wish I could say what I feel without second thought? Do I wish I could be blunt?

Hmmm… no, not really. Maybe sometimes, but with my personality, I’ll spend days recounting my words over and over and over again, feeling guilty and wishing I hadn’t. It’s just not who I am. I’m one who spends excruciating time trying to figure out what to say and when to say it.  Yes, it can be a pain, but I’ve learned to embrace it.

Some would probably say I hide behind this blog and written words. Okay. I’ll take that. Writing has always been my way of expression and I’m okay with it.

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Until next time….

 

 

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Filed under April 2017

2015… What a year!

How can another year be coming to an end?

No doubt, 2015 went by fast and furious. For me, it included many changes and lessons.

One change to my life was the loss of my sweet Nana. It was a difficult time, but one thing I’ve learned about grief and death, the person and memories never leave you. Nana has visited me many times through dreams, smells, and simply wanting her near. Continue to rest in peace, Nana. We miss you dearly.

Another change… I made decisions about my book, which weren’t easy, but necessary. Now, months after deciding to leave my publisher, I see it was most certainly a very, very good decision for many reasons. I’ll spare you the details. Just know, if you’d like to publish a book, you have many avenues to do so. Investigate all your options. Don’t rush the decision. It’s your path, so follow your heart. By the way, I have exciting goals and plans for publishing in 2016. I’ll share those once the new year rolls around.

The biggest (and fastest) change this year was the selling of our house in South Carolina so we could move permanently to Vermont. We made the decision to sell, put the house on the market, and sold it all within a month. Then, sold our stuff and made the transition within two months. Boy, talk about moving fast… literally. If you read my last post, you know it was a good (and happy) decision. The biggest lesson I learned from that experience– a hard, tedious process can bring happiness and peace. You just have to be open to change and welcome it with open arms– no holds barred.

Through this big year of change, I learned who my real friends are– the ones who sat aside their own needs to help me through, to listen, to just be there. I learned there are some who feel if you’re not constantly validating them, always pouring all your energy into them, no matter what’s going on in your life, they just don’t have the wherewith-all to be by your side (or even sit on the sidelines). Sometimes, life requires you to be selfish, and to take care of yourself before others. If “others” can’t understand that, let them go.  When times are rough, hard, and challenging, you need people who truly care and love you. Period. Plain and simple.

Personally, aside from all the outside changes, I’ve made big strides in my inner peace. I’ve learned so much about myself and what it means to be happy. Material things are just that, material. They don’t translate into happiness. For me– friends, family, and simplicity are where I find peace, joy, and happiness.

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Lastly, I want to leave you with a thought for now and for the future…

To each their own. Not one person is the same as the next. We all have different goals, different loves, different points of view, different points of happiness, different tolerance levels, different eyes in which we see the world.  Be sure to listen before you argue. Don’t assume you know what someone else is thinking or feeling. Don’t assume you know what someone else is going through. Reach out to someone before persecuting them with your harsh words and bitterness. Never hate. Always love.

Cheers to a good ending of 2015 and a happy 2016. Many wonderful things are ahead. Stay open. Stay positive. Stay strong.

Until next time…

 

 

 

 

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Filed under December 2015, January 2011

Cha-cha-cha- changes…

My life has had many ‘bottom of the mountain’ and ‘top of the mountain’ moments– hills, valleys, twists, and turns. Needless to say, I’ve never been scared of change. To me, life isn’t about staying in the same place, doing the same thing, and never switching things up.

Life is meant to be lived fully, experienced completely, and embraced wholeheartedly.

If we crawl under the covers and hide every time life throws us a curve ball, we’d never get out of it what we should. Shifts in life shape us, make us who we are, and give us the stories that make us laugh, cry, smile, and reminiscence when we tell them.

All this being said, yes, I have changes in my near future. For those who are my Facebook friends, you’ve probably already seen it. For others, here it is:

My husband and I are selling our lake house in South Carolina and permanently moving to our home in Vermont. No more going between– no more back and forth. It’s time to downsize. It’s time to simplify. It’s time for a change.

I don’t feel sad. I don’t feel lost. I don’t feel scared. I feel it’s right.

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Chris and I talked about it in great detail, and even though we love the water, and we love our lake house, it’s time to let it go. We built it with love, and we will let go of it with love, knowing another family will create many memories there– just as we have.

Life in Vermont is what we crave. It’s nature, peace, serenity, and simplicity. We look forward to getting down to basics and enjoying life without weight. We’ll be able to get outside and enjoy nature in ways we love– hiking, biking, snowshoeing, etc… We can also get more involved in the community of Stowe like we want to.

From my hike this morning.

From my hike this morning.

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From my hike this morning.

From my hike this morning.

From my hike this morning.

It’s going to be a big change and the process of such a big move won’t come without its obstacles. The sale of our house in SC could take a month or it could take a year– who knows– but, in the end, with a smile on our face, Chris and I will stand on our deck in the woods and cheers each other with a big ole glass of wine, knowing it’s where we want to be.

The lesson here?

Don’t be scared to take a huge leap of faith to get where you want to be. Don’t let the process of the “sale” make you postpone your dreams. Life is all about changing and growing, and it’s not to be feared, it’s to be embraced.

Life is short. Go find your dream. Go places you wan to go. Go get what you want. Don’t let anyone, or anything, stop you.

Life is meant to be lived without reservations.

Until next time…

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Filed under July 2015

Lessons Learned

A little over a year ago, I made a conscious decision to be more reflective and introspective. In doing so, I’ve learned a lot about myself (and others). If you don’t mind, I’d like to share what I’ve learned (in no certain order):

  • (I’ve learned) how to have peace in the midst of a storm.
  • (I’ve learned) how to write (a little) better than the year before.
  • (I’ve learned) more about my body, the changes it’s determined to make, and how to deal with them.
  • (I’ve learned) how to be quiet (sometimes more than others).
  • (I’ve learned) who are my real friends and who are not.
  • (I’ve learned) I have to exercise no matter how much I hate it.
  • (I’ve learned) I don’t need, or want, to eat protein that comes from an animal that has fur, feathers, or a cute squiggly tail.
  • (I’ve learned) it’s okay to be sad sometimes.
  • (I’ve learned) it’s okay to be mad sometimes.
  • (I’ve learned) complaining doesn’t change a bad situation– action does.
  • (I’ve learned) fake people are easy to spot and who has time for such people? I don’t.
  • (I’ve learned) life can be really difficult, but with the right people around me, the hard times are manageable.
  • (I’ve learned) saying “I care” is way better (and more important) than saying “I don’t care.”
  • (I’ve learned) beauty isn’t about how my hair, skin, and body looks. It’s about being kind, loving, giving, and grateful.
  • (I’ve learned) how to be more vulnerable.
  • (I’ve learned) how to let go of toxic people and situations.
  • (I’ve learned) walking away from something that’s not working, or doesn’t feel right, is okay.
  • (I’ve learned) to love who I am– just as I am.

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If you slow down a bit– listen, meditate, and allow yourself to be open– life will show you and teach you so much about yourself. Don’t let this busy world, and rat-race of a life, jade you and wear you down. Make a deliberate decision to learn something new about yourself, about your life’s journey, and about what you may need to change to get where you’d like to be.

Life is a beautiful thing, so take the time to soak in what all it has to teach you.

Until next time…

Everyday meditation:

Love life. Be Kind. Be genuine. Eliminate the negative, false, and vain. Peace, love, and happiness to all. 

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Filed under June 2015

No Rain. No Rainbow.

Hard times– whether it be illness, emotional stress, death/grief, financial issues, work problems, family discord– we’ve all gone through them.

Everyone deals with difficult times in different ways. Some clam up, some express themselves, some get angry, some cry, some do all the above.

Me? I tend to clam up and go to my quiet place. I hold my worries close and hardly ever share them. This is just the way I am. I used to think I was wrong for the way I deal with hard, worrisome times. I allowed people’s opinion of how I should handle things affect my process. This is no longer the case. I’ve learned to embrace my personal journey through difficult times.

Everyone has a right to their own way of dealing with life. Sometimes, things get so hard–so difficult–that expression is buried and words are scarce. But it’s during these times when we see who cares. Who reaches out. Who notices your pain. Who puts aside their own life to care about yours. When you feel the need to clam up, yet someone asks, “Are you okay?” Man, those three little words reach deep into the soul. You may not be ready to answer or talk about your troubles, but as cliché as it sounds, it’s the thought that matters most.

I have some awesome friends and family and I want to thank them for being there for me, especially the last six months or so. Some know the struggles, and some, maybe not so much, but you’ve reached out and let me know you’re there when I need you. Thank you.

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I’ve learned so much about myself over the last year or so. Knowing what to let go of, and what to take in, has been so important and eye-opening.

Ego. Vanity. Roughness. Loudness. Selfishness. Shallowness. The need for approval. These are the things I try to rid myself of.

Peace. Love. Understanding. Softness. Gratefulness. Inner strength. Growth. These are the things I strive for.

We all fall. We all fail. We are imperfect beings. But what we set out to achieve and become is set forth by our deliberate intentions.

Yes, hard times are overwhelming and exhausting, but they are also character-building and a time to learn. More importantly, they are temporary. Keep your head up. Put a smile on your face. Put one foot in front of the other and try to move forward. It’s not easy, but every positive step is better than moving backwards.

Never feel bad about who you are and what you’re going through. Stay true to yourself and rise above.

Sending you all love and peace.

Until next time…

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Filed under January 2015

Reassessing Life

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Reassessing your life– how often do you do it? Do you ever sit back and think hard about what’s important or not important to you?

Things change in life. People change. Therefore, our priorities change.

Taking stock of our lives is so important. It’s crucial for us to know who we are inside, where we’re going with our lives, and how we’re going to go about reaching our life’s dreams and goals.

Recently, I’ve done a lot of thinking, meditating, and soul-searching– reaching deep inside myself and looking beyond the surface of everyday life. Listening to myself. Finding peace. Eliminating drama. Finding happiness in simplicity. Letting go of negativity. Ridding myself of chaos. Canceling out the loud. Enjoying the quiet.

I have to tell you, it’s an amazing thing. It’s cleansing. It’s freeing. It’s necessary.

I’m learning to love my positive traits and accept my negative ones. There are lessons in our faults. We all have them. I used to try to explain them away. Justify them. Apologize for them. Not anymore. I will hold them close, and try to improve, but never will I think less of myself because of them.

Happiness means different things to different people. I wish for all who read this, you fill your life with happiness and love. Be kind to yourself. Be kind to others. Release bitterness and breathe in love.

There’s joy in putting out positive light and enjoying life in all its beauty. May we all find that joy.

Love to you all.

Until next time…

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Filed under October 2014